Not So Suicidle Suicide

“Watch where you’re going!” Mike Nuttel yells as he was ran into.
“Hey what’s that smell?” Mike’s first hand man Ross Graves said, directed at his buddies but loud enough for Gabriel Black to hear. “Must be Gabriel. None of us would let ourselves smell like crap.” Mike and Ross always hung out with a group of four other boys who it their goal to be as mean as possible to Gabriel.

As usual, Gabriel ignored them but hoped that their tormenting would soon be over and they would find someone new to pick on. He was grateful that today wasn’t as bad as some other days.

Gabriel is the kid that walks around with his head down and doesn’t have many friends but is picked on by many. He gets fair grades and doesn’t do any drugs. He used to be popular, play all the sports, and do the “right” stuff. Now he’s into metal music, wearing dark clothes, painting his nails black, and most of all, being himself.

The halls grow quiet except for the clicking of high heels hitting the ground. People move off to the sides to make room. A beautiful girl, Isabella Ricci, is walking down the hall straight towards Mike, his gang, and Gabriel. Gabriel also ignores her and continues on his way out of school. The look on Isabella’s face shows she’s pissed.

“Mike I have told you before. Leave Gabriel alone,” Isabella says letting her anger be heard in her voice.

When Gabriel hears this, he quickly turns around and walks toward them.

“I don’t need you to stand up for me. Let me handle this. It’s none of your business.”

“God, Gabriel. If someone is nice and tries to help you out, says thanks rather then yelling at them.”

“I don’t need your help or anyone else’s for that matter.” Gabriel then leaves. He heads toward where the buses wait. “SHIT! I missed the bus. Now I have to walk across town. Dad is going to kill me.” Gabriel has an abusive father. If Gabriel does on thing, slight wrong, his dad punishes him by beating him.

“Need a ride?” Isabella asks, as she pulls up next to Gabriel in her yellow Trans Am. He stops to consider it he really needs a ride… But with her? “Well? I don’t have all day.”

“Uhh… Sure.” Gabriel climbs in and says, “Thanks for the ride and stranding up for me. Sorry I yelled at you. Those guys are always really mean to me and I’m having a bad day.”

“Those boys are jerks. Don’t listen to anything they say. They’re just trying to make themselves feel better.”

The rest of the drive to Gabriel’s was silent except for Gabriel giving directions.

As Gabriel gets out of the car, he says, “Thanks again.” Isabella tells him that it was no problem and if he ever needs a ride again, just ask.

Right as Gabriel walks in, is dad asks, “Who was that? Your girlfriend? You know if you have a girlfriend you have to tell. Why didn’t you ride the bus? I pay taxes to pay for the bus; you have better ride it.”

“She’s just a girl from school. I missed the bus so she gave me a ride.”

“Don’t lie to me!” Mr. Black yells as he smacks Gabriel across the face.

“Leave me alone,” Gabriel says in a tone that shows face hurt and starts to go up the stairs.

Gabriel gets punched in the stomach his dad angrily pulls him down off of the first step to the ground.

“You ungrateful little bastard, don’t you ever fucking walk away from me!”

Gabriel knows that he can’t beat his dad so he pulls away and runs up the stairs, avoiding getting hurt anymore. Once he reaches his room, he slams the door, locks it and turns God Forbid on really loud. I can’t take this anymore, he thought, at school and at home. He opens the CD-Rom drive in his computer and takes out a razor blade. He unlocks his door and quietly leaves and goes into the bathroom with the blade in his right hand and his journal and pencil in the left. Gabriel gets his stuff down next to the sink and then fills the bathtub with cold water. While it’s filling up, Gabriel opens his journal to the next page and writes:

If you are reading this then I succeeded. I can’t take constantly being verbally abused at school. Or my father’s beatings. I’m sick of this world and how I’ve been treated, there has only been one nice person to me and that’s Isabella. I’m sorry if I’m a let down to you, but I’m a let down to myself. If you don’t believe me then go through my journal and see for yourself. Good-bye forever you fucked up world.
Gabriel

Gabriel then takes the blade and deeply cuts from his left wrist towards his elbow right along the vein. He leans over the bathtub and places his arm into the water. Gabriel himself feeling weaker as more of his blood runs out of him into the water. His body goes limp and he is no longer there.

Gabriel wakes up and finds himself in the hospital. His father and younger brother, Xach, are sitting in the chairs next to him, watching him sleep. There is a nurse standing next to him.
“Why am I here?”

”Ah… I se you are awake. You tried to kill yourself. Your brother found you.” The nurse leaves the room to check on another patient of hers.

“How could you try to kill yourself? And that ridiculous note! Now the police are investigating me for child abuse. When I get through this you are dead meat,” Gabriel’ father snarled. He left to get coffee leaving Gabriel and Xach alone together.

“You really scared me. I thought that you left me alone with Dad,” Xach said and Gabriel just rolls his eyes. He turns over and looks towards the door and sees the shape of a woman.

“Isabella,” Gabriel moaned softly.

“Hey short stuff Isabella said as she rubbed Xach’s head. “Could you leave us for a minute?”

“Ooh la la,” Xach says as he leaves.

Isabella gets a concerned look on her face. “Gabriel. Why?”

“You don’t know what my life is like. You only just met me. I’m sure you’ve seen what goes on at school. It’s worse at my home. My father is abusive. He abused my mother so much that she left us and now he’s moved on to my brother and me. You are the only person that was ever nice to be for as long as I can remember.”

“So you were just going to leave your brother and father together?”

“No. I was trying to help my brother. The note I left said something about my dad being abusive. The authorities would’ve taken them apart. Put my dad in jail and my brother in foster care or find my mom and see is she wants him.”

“Well then, why don’t you look for your mother and go live with her?”

“She left because of me. I don’t know what I did but on the note that she left it said it was because of me. I don’t want to stay where I’m not wanted.”

“Well then come live with me and my family. You’re always welcome there.” Isabella allows her concern for him show.

“Until I turn eighteen, your parents could get charged with kidnapping because there’s no way my dad will agree to that. He’d lose his pleasure of beating me. There’s no emancipation in Ohio, so I can’t do that. The best thing for me would be to not be here at all.”

“Don’t say that. The best thing for you is away from you father. Can’t you tell the police?”

“They wouldn’t believe me my dad is too important of a man.”

“They have to believe you. You have to be taken seriously. This isn’t just some little thing.”

"To them my story would just be some kid hurting himself to get payback on his father for punishing his kid. And that’s not the case.”

“I know its not.” Isabella glances down at her watch. “We are going to have to finish this conversation later. I have to go to work. I’ll stop by tomorrow. Bye.” Isabella waves as she leaves the room.

Gabriel is left alone in his hospital room. The only thing he can do is watch TV. He can’t write or draw because he has no paper or writing utensils. After watching an hour of info-mercials, Xach walks in with a ton of junk food.

“Want some? I have plenty.”

“No thanks,” Gabriel says as he turns over onto his side looking out the window. “You can watch TV if you want to. The remote is on the table.”

Gabriel stays in the hospital for about a week. The only visitors he got were Isabella and his little brother. Everyday Isabella would pick up Xach and drive him to the hospital. The two of them would talk to Gabriel; catch him up on what he’s been missing and play cards. That was until he was sent home.

The day that Gabriel was to be sent home, his father came to get him with an expressionless look on his face. Gabriel was wheeled out to his father’s car. The whole car ride was silent. Mr. Black had left Xach at home think he would get in the way.

Later that night after Xach went to bed, Gabriel and his father finally spoke words to each other.

“I’m cleared of the charges,” Mr. Black says. “No thanks to you.”

“Well that’s good to hear,” Gabriel says sarcastically. “Now you can keep beating on me and Xach.” Gabriel turns to leave the room when his father grabs his arm and pulls him back.

“I’ve told you thousands of times, when we are talking you don’t walk away. I haven’t seen you in a week.”

“Now whose fault is that? You could have come and visited me in the hospital. Isabella and Xach visited me every goddamn day.”

“Don’t speak to me like that,” Gabriel’s father, said as he slapped Gabriel.

“I’ll speak however the fuck I want to and I’m going upstairs. Leave me alone until you can control your anger.”

Mr. Black grabs Gabriel’s shoulder length shaggy hair and pulls hard, then lets go. Gabriel falls backwards and hits his head in a table. His body lay motionless as a puddle of crimson liquid surrounds him.